Limbo

I feel like I'm between two places right now. It reminds me of that silly song that goes: I'm not a girl, but not yet a woman. LoL I really do feel like I am already a woman- so that isn't exactly my problem. My problem lies in the fact that I'm graduating and will no longer hold the status of "student." I've held that title for the past 17 years so now I'm not sure what exactly life is supposed to hold for me.

So right now, as I'm finishing up college, I'm stuck between letting go of being a student and trying to decide what life will hold for me when I am no longer able to have the title of "student." I have some general ideas about what society excepts. I need to have a full time job, perhaps look at getting more education in the future, I should be making a decent living, and eagerly trying to become a wife and mother.

So with those society norms out there- it would seem like I should have a handle on what comes after college, right? WRONG! How on earth can you have a handle on something that totally depends on other people? I would very much so like to get married: but first, the man I love has to decide that he also wants to marry me and he has to propose. I would love to have a job in the social work field: but that depends on what other people apply for certain positions and if the person who interviews and hires decides that they like me for the position- it also depends on if I can support myself in that specific job. I'll have to make sure I find a job where I can make enough money to pay for a place to live, to make car payments, to pay for food, clothes, utilities, and any other expenses I might have.

See? It is a lot of pressure! Not only that, but my family all wants me to come back to my hometown to live (in NC) and I was kinda planning on staying here. More pressure.

Not only that- but I have to figure out a new living situation. And it depends a TON of what other people might decide to do. More pressure.

Not only that but I have to find a job because the job I have is only for students at BYU. More pressure.

Not only that but the car I have belongs to my parents so I'll have to find a new car and figure out everything and get a loan and have all of these new experiences buying something that is way out of my price range.

Not only that but all of these decisions and whatnot are on a deadline! MORE PRESSURE!

Where does the pressure end? I'm guessing sometime in September when I'm graduated and have already been forced to decide on a job and a place to live. LoL

But for now- before I can REALLY start working on these problems (because I'm waiting on other people to decide things and because I can't find a full time job until I graduate) I am severely stuck in LIMBO. Greatttttt.....