Well I have been trying to make some choices in my life lately. It seems in the past few years that I have severely gotten away from doing many of the things that make me happy. I love being active, I love reading, I like writing, and I love people. I'm mildly obsessed with the idea of being able to see that I have accomplished something in life.
That being said- I almost feel like the line from the song Beauty School Drop Out in the movie Grease where the angel who is singing to the girl "you've got the dream girl but not the drive!" Literally for the past several months I have been trying to figure out how to get up the motivation to do the things that I have a desire to do but simply do not do.
I was having a heart to heart with my Heavenly Father a couple weeks ago- oddly enough while driving. Someone once told me that when you drive in your car alone to turn off all noise and just listen and pray, even though you may need to do so with your eyes open. In frustration I posed the question of what needed to be done to figure out what I should be doing and to get the motivation to do more of the things that I want to be doing?? I immediately had the thought that I needed to pray more in order to seek clarity. Over the past couple weeks as I have made that one change- to pray more- the simple and profound answers have been coming.
Anyone who knows me well will understand what a big deal this is for me. I am a religious person and hold my religious beliefs dear to my heart, even when I have struggled with some things. One of my biggest complaints has always been that I do not feel that I receive clear answers to prayer and I have always agonized over why this might be. So the fat that I have been receiving these types of answers feels nothing short of a miracle.
That being said, I am mildly ashamed of how simple and obvious so many of the answers have been to my questions and concerns. So many of them have been things that I should have been doing all along.
So here is a list of things that I have felt inclined to do as a result of these promptings. Don't judge me for any of them or how silly they may appear. You also may be wondering why I am putting them on a blog. I feel wholeheartedly that I will feel more accountable as I put things in writing. It tends to work well for me.
1) Stop watching so much TV and so many movies. I actually had already started cutting back and have even cancelled my precious Netflix account. I think I was filling time with these types of media instead of doing useful and productive things.
2) Substitute TV and movies with books and writing. I use to be a read-a-holic and I use to keep a fairly regular blog/journal- I have long felt the desire to get back to doing just that but have lacked the sufficient drive to actually make it happen. I feel that cutting out specific activities like TV watching will actually help with this. I now have a goal to read a new book per month (or less)!
3) Have a hobby that will keep me more physically active. I recently joined a Brazilian Jiujitsu gym where I will be training and working out twice per week (Tuesday and Thursday nights). I have had a gym membership for several months but I simply do not enjoy the gym. This class is small enough that people will notice if I am not there and I am learning something I enjoy doing so it helps motivate me to go.
4) Get up earlier. Wake up earlier and walk on the treadmill for an hour and have more time for family and reading/writing.
5) Pray EVERY day and read my scriptures. Having already worked on these things I can see the benefit of vocalizing prayers with my Heavenly Father. It really does make a difference.
6) Change my music habits. I really enjoy my rap/hip-hop/pop/R&B but I have noticed that as I try to be better and do better things that the lyrics and such often pop in to my head at inappropriate times. It seems cliche but I have felt that I need to listen to more instrumental and uplifting music lately. As I type this I am listening to The Piano Guys on Pandora and it is very soothing.
It may sound like a lot of changes all at once but keep in mind that most of them I have already been working on for a couple weeks or more and they are things that I have had the desire to do for a while now (just not the drive).
Well- tomorrow starts a new week. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping for good things. I honestly feel that simply by getting back to the basics of rising early, reading, praying and keeping more active that I will become more productive and start to more-so make something of myself and to be successful.
I'm going to be honest with you guys.... I'm really hoping for some pretty great things. :-)
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